I had been stringing her along for years…

A kind soul who had taken any punishment I had forced upon her.  She listened and heard my joys and deepest sorrows.  She has been the most trusted of friends, having never judged even my most foolish of whims, always speaking to me in the most honest of tones. She did not cry when I left her, but bravely waited for my return. She endured the quiet darkness with me and rewarded me with the sweetest of songs upon our reunion. Still, I do not know her name. I just call her “The 810”.

She is a 1996 Taylor 810-WMB and I love her. Through the years she has waited patiently in the belly of airplanes, buses and ships to the result of many repairs, broken braces and (beautifully) cracking finish. Today she is tired and complaining of a desperate need for a re-fret and a serious vacation in a humid climate. And so it is I summoned compassion and retired her from active duty on Feb 17, 2010.

I have had many guitars over the years, most of which were merely workhorses designated for touring.  The result was that I kept my heart distant, never giving them names (as so many guitarists seem to do), in the event they were destroyed or (worse) completely un-inspiring. Of the several Taylor dreadnoughts I’ve owned and passed on or sold, I’ve only regretted the loss of one. A wound so deep, I needed only learn my lesson through one experience. There are guitars, and then, there are guitars.

Jennifer Knapp and 810

The 810 is my guitar. You have to understand, I’m not crazy, possessive or overly materialistic…I love to travel light, keep few, but potent friends and most of all, attempt reasonable behavior when it comes to inanimate objects. It’s just that I think she’s almost become a ‘security blanket’. Through this whole ‘coming back’ business I counted on her being there…she made it through the recording of Letting Go, but she just can’t do the road. I am devastated.

Before I run this blog completely off the rails into the bounds of insanity, I’ll just say this. I had to replace her, so I recently purchased a new 810-ce from World Music in Bellevue, TN. (Talk to Jason about all that’s hanging in the acoustic room. He’s a real lover of wood & steel, not to mention just an over-all cool guy.) I must admit, as I neared home, I was getting pretty excited at the thought of recklessly wailing away on an axe that could take it.  But The 810 was out on the stand. Being in such a fragile state, I didn’t want to push her over the edge at the sight of a strong, shiny new beauty, so I kept them in separate rooms.  This was going to be tricky. I needed to get The 810 into the new case without seeing ‘Honey’ (the new girl. I know, I named her, right? Man, am I in trouble!) and Honey in the Calton road case without making fun of the old-lady. Though looking a sure fool, I managed. Now The 810 rests in a brand new Taylor case, comfy and humidified without being any wiser to the gorgeous sunburst girl stealing the show outside (or so I hope!)

All that to say, is that The 810 has her place, loved and hallowed.

If Honey knows what’s good for her, she’ll keep her top rockin’ and neck straight.

Jennifer

I have a difficult time imaging that the painter Jackson Pollock premeditated his work. From what I’ve read about him and learned from his own descriptions, the energy and emotion he put forth was almost zen-like, perhaps entering into a ‘thoughtless’ world in which his unconscious soul was revealed. It seems that he would awake only when the painting was finished to discover what the process had taught him.

I rarely sit down to write a song with a specific intent in mind. I often find it constraining and intimidating to the extent that what I truly intend to capture eludes me. When asked why I have written a song I find myself stumbling for words, hoping that the next answer I give will be different from the last. Still, it is often the same. It is the process of finding the emotion that song is holding inside, or maybe even discovering what is inside of me, that yearns to be heard.

Creating a record as a body of work is a scary prospect.  I am always hoping for cohesion, a narrative, but can never fully plan it. Each song reveals itself slowly and intimately in it’s own time and place, independent of the next, and still unknown tune to follow. While the song may stand on its own, it can lose it’s potency if stuffed into some premeditated style or jewel case.

In the end, it seems the music always finds me. No matter the hope or the pride that I might selfishly try to grasp, I am usually relegated to a listener. The record has taken it’s form while I was asleep.  Like a Jackson Pollock, it has waited patiently to be understood, or rather felt in the deeper parts of my soul. It is my sincere prayer that it will find yours as well.

The Moon-Woman Cuts the Circle (1943), Jackson Pollock

The Moon-Woman Cuts the Circle (1943), Jackson Pollock

http://www.jacksonpollock.com/

Jennifer

Many thanks to all who attended the Belcourt show on Nov 18! No doubt it will be an event that will stay warmly in my memory for a long time to come. I am honestly grateful for the heart with which many of you entered into that small room. Though at times I felt as if I were walking about with my hospital gown open at the back, you were kind to laugh with me!

Special thanks to Amy Courts, Tony Lucido, Jeremy Lutito, Paul Moak and Nathan Dugger for working extra hard on short notice…I am truly humbled to share the stage with their big beautiful hearts!

Anyway, I’m glad you are all showing up in your various forms; avatars, seat warmers and general digital correspondence…my how things have changed!

Some general boring news…
Yes…I realize that you would all prefer facebook…well, let’s just say that the general impostors throughout the years have taken their toll and I am having to jump through some hoops to prove that I am actually the legit form of the singing Kansan. It will take some time.
We’re continuing behind the scenes construction for a more fluid jenniferknpdev.wpenginepowered.com as well. As per usual, those who hang here & on twitter or join the email list at jenniferknapp.com will be the first to know of any updates.

love,love,love…Jennifer