Some like it hot!

St. Louis Press Conference

No doubt, one of the most anticipated dates on my calendar this year, I had the opportunity to catch up with Lilith Fair 2010 in Kansas City and St. Louis this July.

First, it was a bit of a crap shoot ever getting a spot. (There’s not a girl with a guitar on this planet that wouldn’t consider all kinds of bribery to get this gig!) At the time that Sarah McLachlin & Co. were putting their line-up together, I was hardly worth mentioning. I hadn’t toured in years and didn’t even have a record pieced together. Most folks had only heard a whisper of my return. On a wing and a prayer, we tossed my hat in the ring and hoped…and to my surprise and honor, I got a couple of days!

Two dates are better than none, especially when you get to see up-close performances Sarah, Emmylou Harris and Mary J Blige!

I dunno why, but I’ve never been one to get too excited about things. About the best you get out of me is a wry smile and a laid-back response like “Yeah, that was very cool.”  It takes a lot to get me jumping up and down, but Mary J’s performance in St. Louis had me stupid with excitement. I actually got out of my seat and jumped up and down a few times. I seriously thought my head was going to explode in joy ala Femme-bot style!

Considering how hot and unholy the weather was, it was a miracle I could even move at the end of the day. Everything was burnt to a crisp and then made soggy by hours of sweating. Fortunately, there were little patches of shade we could all share, have a chat and take a few photos. I don’t know why any of you would have wanted to even come near me, but then again, you guys were just as gross as I was! Nonetheless, I met some fabulous people. Not to mention just how humbling it was to have folks show up just cause they knew you’d be there.

By far the best moment was being on stage and watching my family come over the hill. Like I said, it was a miserably hot day, but they braved the weather. It gave me a chance to perform Mr Gray for my Grandparents for the first time…for which I received the most beautiful, sweaty kisses. Seriously, how much better can you get…

A few pics HERE

Behind the Scenes video HERE

Priming the pump

A few years ago I joined a weekly group with several other artists. There were painters, photographers, writers, and actors. Few made a living through their chosen form of expression, but all were drawn to try and comprehend this compulsion we seemed to share: Creativity. To help our conversations along, we chose the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Little did I know what kind of impact this book would have in my life.

As I talk to more & more artists, I am comforted to know that few are eternal wellsprings of constant inspired creativity. Frankly, some days it feels like I’ll never write another thing again, and worse, can convince myself that perhaps it doesn’t even matter. Fears, irrationality, irritability can trick me into long periods of inactivity. If it’s not ‘inspired’, I don’t want it. I stop writing, when what I should be doing is anything I can to get the pump working again.

Generally, I know I need to take some purpose to my creativity when I start pacing around the house, eating cookies for breakfast and muttering to myself: “You should be writing. You haven’t written anything in while. What’s your problem?”  I avoid. I mope.

But the jig is up. Now that I’ve been through this a few times, I realize I can sit there and atrophy, or get up and start moving. Everything I create doesn’t have to be gold, nor does it have to be shared, but I do have to keep the muscles moving. Knit a sweater, draw a bowl of fruit, listen to music, write a letter to an inspiring person…

The Artist’s Way has been a good tool for me to grease the wheels of my creativity. It keeps me moving and mindful. I’ve been revisiting this book lately and it has been a great reminder to me that I needn’t fall over in a heap when I’ve nothing inspired rattling around in my head. The exercises get me writing and thinking. I hate to admit it, but sometimes the structure does me good.

Sometimes, Cameron reaches a little far into the realms of self-help for my liking, but at the very least, this series has equipped me with the notion that a moving mind is more likely to create than an idle one. What I like is that she doesn’t teach you how to write or paint or sculpt, that’s not the point. It’s not about launching oneself into an explosion of productivity so that we can be world-renown songwriters or the next Picasso. It’s about the need for expression that we all have and getting onto the business of exploring just how creative we all can be.

Knapp / Webb Tour Debrief

So, the Jennifer Knapp, Derek Webb and Amy Courts ‘no name tour’ has come to an end!

I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to Derek and Amy for their time, encouragement and flavorful company in helping me get my tour ‘chops’ back in shape! It is always a pleasure to share the load and the wonderful moments with friends.

As with any tour we need people to play, places to perform and people to come. A warm thank you goes out to all that helped make this happen, including the venues, their staff and of course our wonderful fans!

On a personal note, I feel like I’m starting to hit my stride. My legs have stopped shaking, the chords of the new songs are well on their way to being fully engrained in my muscle memory…but even more, it must be said, I am overjoyed at the opportunity to be reunited with so many familiar faces. It has been the overwhelming sincerity of each of you who have come out that keeps me going. I am grateful for your presence! So many nights I choked back tears of joy when greeted by your shining faces.

Thank you all for helping me get back ‘out there’ and for your support in generating excitement for the Letting Go release. I’ll see you soon!

Jennifer

www.derekwebb.com

www.amycourts.com

A few words…

I share my life with a woman. I have approached this relationship with gratitude, joy and humility. I am honored to have the support of my loving family, a caring partner, friends and people of faith who have accepted me as I come, while encouraging me to become who I am meant to be. My loved ones – you have endured much, loved much and made full the lives of all those around you. I thank you as one who has been blessed by your generosity and gentle spirits.

In the abundant amount of private time I have been afforded to reflect, I have been deeply moved by the memory of rich experiences brought about through the intersection of faith and music. Generous fans, humble churches, believers, stumblers, seekers, the broken, the faithful and the faithless, alike, through the common thread of music we have found ourselves in the same spaces ignoble in our own humanity. Where I often begin, alone in sacred spaces, to plumb and pen the depth of my own person, music draws me out to the land of others. I discover that I am not alone, nor have I ever been.

As ever,

Jennifer

A Long Road Travelled

I had been stringing her along for years…

A kind soul who had taken any punishment I had forced upon her.  She listened and heard my joys and deepest sorrows.  She has been the most trusted of friends, having never judged even my most foolish of whims, always speaking to me in the most honest of tones. She did not cry when I left her, but bravely waited for my return. She endured the quiet darkness with me and rewarded me with the sweetest of songs upon our reunion. Still, I do not know her name. I just call her “The 810”.

She is a 1996 Taylor 810-WMB and I love her. Through the years she has waited patiently in the belly of airplanes, buses and ships to the result of many repairs, broken braces and (beautifully) cracking finish. Today she is tired and complaining of a desperate need for a re-fret and a serious vacation in a humid climate. And so it is I summoned compassion and retired her from active duty on Feb 17, 2010.

I have had many guitars over the years, most of which were merely workhorses designated for touring.  The result was that I kept my heart distant, never giving them names (as so many guitarists seem to do), in the event they were destroyed or (worse) completely un-inspiring. Of the several Taylor dreadnoughts I’ve owned and passed on or sold, I’ve only regretted the loss of one. A wound so deep, I needed only learn my lesson through one experience. There are guitars, and then, there are guitars.

Jennifer Knapp and 810

The 810 is my guitar. You have to understand, I’m not crazy, possessive or overly materialistic…I love to travel light, keep few, but potent friends and most of all, attempt reasonable behavior when it comes to inanimate objects. It’s just that I think she’s almost become a ‘security blanket’. Through this whole ‘coming back’ business I counted on her being there…she made it through the recording of Letting Go, but she just can’t do the road. I am devastated.

Before I run this blog completely off the rails into the bounds of insanity, I’ll just say this. I had to replace her, so I recently purchased a new 810-ce from World Music in Bellevue, TN. (Talk to Jason about all that’s hanging in the acoustic room. He’s a real lover of wood & steel, not to mention just an over-all cool guy.) I must admit, as I neared home, I was getting pretty excited at the thought of recklessly wailing away on an axe that could take it.  But The 810 was out on the stand. Being in such a fragile state, I didn’t want to push her over the edge at the sight of a strong, shiny new beauty, so I kept them in separate rooms.  This was going to be tricky. I needed to get The 810 into the new case without seeing ‘Honey’ (the new girl. I know, I named her, right? Man, am I in trouble!) and Honey in the Calton road case without making fun of the old-lady. Though looking a sure fool, I managed. Now The 810 rests in a brand new Taylor case, comfy and humidified without being any wiser to the gorgeous sunburst girl stealing the show outside (or so I hope!)

All that to say, is that The 810 has her place, loved and hallowed.

If Honey knows what’s good for her, she’ll keep her top rockin’ and neck straight.

Jennifer

Reflections on Pollock

I have a difficult time imaging that the painter Jackson Pollock premeditated his work. From what I’ve read about him and learned from his own descriptions, the energy and emotion he put forth was almost zen-like, perhaps entering into a ‘thoughtless’ world in which his unconscious soul was revealed. It seems that he would awake only when the painting was finished to discover what the process had taught him.

I rarely sit down to write a song with a specific intent in mind. I often find it constraining and intimidating to the extent that what I truly intend to capture eludes me. When asked why I have written a song I find myself stumbling for words, hoping that the next answer I give will be different from the last. Still, it is often the same. It is the process of finding the emotion that song is holding inside, or maybe even discovering what is inside of me, that yearns to be heard.

Creating a record as a body of work is a scary prospect.  I am always hoping for cohesion, a narrative, but can never fully plan it. Each song reveals itself slowly and intimately in it’s own time and place, independent of the next, and still unknown tune to follow. While the song may stand on its own, it can lose it’s potency if stuffed into some premeditated style or jewel case.

In the end, it seems the music always finds me. No matter the hope or the pride that I might selfishly try to grasp, I am usually relegated to a listener. The record has taken it’s form while I was asleep.  Like a Jackson Pollock, it has waited patiently to be understood, or rather felt in the deeper parts of my soul. It is my sincere prayer that it will find yours as well.

The Moon-Woman Cuts the Circle (1943), Jackson Pollock

The Moon-Woman Cuts the Circle (1943), Jackson Pollock

http://www.jacksonpollock.com/

Jennifer

General Update

Many thanks to all who attended the Belcourt show on Nov 18! No doubt it will be an event that will stay warmly in my memory for a long time to come. I am honestly grateful for the heart with which many of you entered into that small room. Though at times I felt as if I were walking about with my hospital gown open at the back, you were kind to laugh with me!

Special thanks to Amy Courts, Tony Lucido, Jeremy Lutito, Paul Moak and Nathan Dugger for working extra hard on short notice…I am truly humbled to share the stage with their big beautiful hearts!

Anyway, I’m glad you are all showing up in your various forms; avatars, seat warmers and general digital correspondence…my how things have changed!

Some general boring news…
Yes…I realize that you would all prefer facebook…well, let’s just say that the general impostors throughout the years have taken their toll and I am having to jump through some hoops to prove that I am actually the legit form of the singing Kansan. It will take some time.
We’re continuing behind the scenes construction for a more fluid jenniferknapp.com as well. As per usual, those who hang here & on twitter or join the email list at jenniferknapp.com will be the first to know of any updates.

love,love,love…Jennifer

Sneak Peak @ Lyrics

One of the songs we tracked in the studio today is called ‘On Love’.   Since you can’t hear it yet, I thought you might like to have a sneak peak at the lyrics.

I’ve held onto this one for quite some time. I wrote it while I was writing for The Way I Am record, but we didn’t end up putting it on the record. It’s a bold move for me, as I am still quite intimidated by the song itself. I’ve written it into many set lists, but always bailed at the last minute, skipping over it. But I have wept too many times while playing it home alone to chicken out now. It is time to let her fly…

Anyway, the lyrics:

On Love

Hey love, isn’t that enough running away?
Stay…
I have waited long, but never given up I have waited on you but never, never on love…

Take my hand, feel the sand slipping away…
And you remain
I have waited long, but never given up
I have waited on you but never, never on love…

So cling to me and I will be forever
I will heal and you will feel much better, you’ll feel much better…

I have waited long, but never given up
I have waited on you but never, never on love…

Jennifer

Studio!

Heading back into the studio this week & I am super excited!

The process of sharing the new tunes with other musicians & their own special contributions to the making of a record, never ceases to astound me. Up to this point, I’ve usually kept most of the music close to my own heart, playing them alone at home without the worries of the vulnerabilities that occur upon the sharing of them.

Now comes the time when others are invited in. The challenges of sharing songs crafted in quiet selfish places to enter the light of day and are released like leaves in the wind, to become what they were meant to be to others.

It is scary and at the same time, exhilarating! I wonder what will happen?…

Jennifer

The REAL Jennifer Knapp

Yes, it’s true. I am the REAL Jennifer Knapp and I’ve been doing a little music lately.

With every ‘old friend’ I run into these days there is the sudden rush of questions … How are you? Where have you been? Are you working? What have you been doing? What hole did you fall into? Were there any trolls? Did you have enough water? Is this a real jenniferknapp.com or just another ruse? Are you really coming back? Are you making a new record? And so on…
We’ve been flooded with emails and phone calls simply by putting up a humble little homepage. So much for my holiday, it looks very much like it may be over.

Despite what some may say, I didn’t actually disappear. I have truly been corporeal this whole time. I’ve just been travelling. I’ve seen many of the places I’d only previously flown over and eaten some fantastic cuisine that has pushed mashed potatoes down the list. I have spent many days sulking about how strange life is and many more discovering just how truly beautiful people can be. My experiences have been both wildly exotic and extraordinarily mundane.

I am grateful for the chance to get my feet under me. I took that time to discover more about myself and my own faith, without the pressure of expectations. Without writing a novel at this point, I’ll just say that I’m starting to think that I might actually be a songwriter, musician or artist of some kind. So, maybe I should do something about it?

I know that many of you have persisted in the hope that I would return to music. Why you have waited or even cared has been one of the greatest of mysteries to me, while at the same time a complete and utter blessing. Thank you for your support. I can only hope to repay you with what you have waited for… music.

Jennifer

  1. Straight Road Jennifer Knapp 3:46
  2. New Day Jennifer Knapp 3:49
  3. Love Comes Back Around Jennifer Knapp 3:05
  4. Roman Holiday Jennifer Knapp 3:33